


hiraeth (i miss you)

by narcocism



Series: four seasons without you [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, Please Don't Kill Me, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 21:03:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17874803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narcocism/pseuds/narcocism
Summary: his home isn't the apartment he lives in nor is it his parents' house back in anshan. home can be found in junhui's arms, but his home was long gone. he felt homesick.





	hiraeth (i miss you)

**Author's Note:**

> this is probably the first ever fanfiction i ever published that is both a oneshot and complete. i end up deleting multi-chaptered one rip. 
> 
> anyways, i hope you guys would enjoy! despite it being angst xjdjjdj

_"is that supposed to be me?"_

minghao didn't have to turn around to know that he's there behind him, just the voice was enough for him to know that it was junhui.

_why is he here once again?_

"yes," the younger simply replied as he continues on with the painting he was doing, oval wood palette on hand filled with different colors and a paint brush on another that's touching the canvas.

who else would he paint other than wen junhui himself? he never painted anything or anyone else beside him ever since the day junhui left him.

it didn't take long before minghao finally finishes the painting, his clothes and skin stained with paint but he didn't care at all.

he never really cared about himself.

junhui eyes him from behind and minghao could definitely feel the piercing gaze of the older male that made him sigh and he finally turned to face him.

it was a mistake.

there stands before him, a meter away from him was junhui himself. he has that soft and loving look on his visage that minghao always had loved but now, it feels like that look is giving him pain. he hates it so much but of course, he couldn't hate junhui, it wasn't his fault but rather it was minghao's.

 _he misses him_.

he still wore the same clothes on the day he had to let minghao go on his own. white crisp long sleeves and black pants, all that was missing was the creme coat that minghao had given him on junhui's birthday.

minghao had to turn his head and look at his painting, he painted junhui in those exact clothing. in the painting, junhui was on his side with his eyes closed as snow falls on the bluish gray background. he managed to capture every details of him, from the way his face and jaw looked as if it was chiseled into perfection, his long eyelashes that cast shadows onto his cheekbones and his pinkish soft-looking lips that minghao wanted to kiss so badly but he can't do that anymore.

_"it's a nice painting, you truly are the greatest artist."_

minghao turns both his gaze and attention towards junhui, being met with a sincere smile that clenches his heart. why is he in so much pain right now?

"i'm not," minghao said, he's not the greatest artist out there. he's only average when compared to another.

_"but you are to me, you've always been the greatest i have ever known."_

junhui walks up to him, a hand now on minghao's cheek making the younger flinch in contact. he fought the urge to lean into the touch but minghao knows this isn't him, this isn't junhui because the hand on his face felt cold instead of the usual warmth that he gives to minghao.

_"you have to let me go, hao."_

and that does it, his eyes being filled with tears until it spills and makes up a stream on his face.

"i-i can't, it's not that easy." his voice stuttered and cracked, so much in keeping himself strong long enough, now he feel so weak and broken in front of the illusion that is junhui.

_"i know... but you can keep making yourself suffer because of me, it's not your fault. no one was to blame."_

junhui wiped off his tears away with his thumb, just how delusional he is to make junhui so tangible when he's nothing more than an imagination? he did once told him that minghao has such a great imagination to the point to which it becomes concrete.

"it's definitely my fault, if i was more careful you couldn't have—" he choked down on his own words as another stream of tears fell down on his cheeks, an ugly sob tumbles down his lips and junhui held him through it, taking him into an embrace that felt a little empty because this isn't him.

"you couldn't have risked your life to save me, it wasn't worth it." minghao continued, his vision blurred out with the tears as junhui hushes him.

_"it's worth it, because it's you."_

minghao wasn't sure what to respond to that so he ends up crying and sobbing into illusional junhui who was now whispering sweet nothings to him. it made him wonder if he's truly an illusion, because why did he managed to reply like that?

"i miss you..." minghao said to the other once he calmed down and pulled away from him, enough to look at him by the face and a sad, apologetic smile came into its being on junhui's countenance.

_"i know, but like i told you. let me go, don't let yourself suffer this much, you deserve happiness."_

minghao wanted to protest on that but he couldn't help but think that maybe he has a point, that he shouldn't be loafing into his feelings and emotions, it's been months already. but his irrationality wasn't helping.

 _"let go..."_ junhui repeats one last time before he started to fade away, minghao panicked and tried to take grasp of him.

"please, don't go!" he held tightly onto his clothing but junhui just smiled at him before shaking his head. "please don't leave me..." he pleaded with all his might, tears falling once again but junhui's not there anymore, he's gone.

_again._

minghao fell onto his knees and curled onto the floor, sobs resonating the room he was in.

he was alone once again.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! please do leave comments and kudos to show your support which i'll appreciate and can be as my motivation to do the sequel and prequel of this fic.
> 
> yes sequel and prequel. 2 sequels to be exact, i hope you'll be looking forward to them!


End file.
